Several weeks ago, a novel came across my path that provoked two live demonstrations of a fictional observation. The quote, by the way, was not one that I appreciated! Yet, it stayed in my head and I was subsequently led to the words of a modern mystic. Now, how is that for living in the connected universe?!

The novel’s characters, during the turbulent American Revolutionary War period, were struggling through an impossible drought at one point. In spite of the scant food supply, the community provided for those who were burying sons and husbands. The narrator remarks that “…those who have nothing, would give you half of that nothing.” She continues with “…and those who give nothing though they have all the riches in the world” must well and truly be subjects of scorn.

Wow! I thought. That is harsh.

A few weeks later I was sitting outside at Peet’s when a woman of few means sat down near me. While munching on a small bag of chips, she laughed and enjoyed the musician playing for “spare change.” When the fellow stopped, she said to any and all who would listen that she needed to let him know how much he touched her.  She dug around in that old, brown, cracked purse and pulled out a limp, much folded dollar bill.  “Here you go, darlin’, let me give you something for what that meant to me.”  That banjo player stood a good bit taller while a big smile took over his face. Me? I felt a bit besmirched by her generosity and so, I too, dragged some bills out of my jeans pocket and extended to him, getting the sweetest smile from both of them in the process.

The story doesn’t end there. A few days later, I walked by Grace Community Church where they serve breakfast every morning to those in need. I gathered that it was past meal time by a few minutes. Why? There, in the corner, against a window, one person in a mound of blankets slept on. Tiptoeing away was “a someone” who carefully and quietly put down an extra breakfast, clearly collected just for the sleeping individual.

My head remains abuzz with justifications as well as genuine inquiry. My Graduate Committee said that we all notice the giving by the destitute because it appears to be unique. Another said that no one makes such a huge thing of it when the money comes from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation because, “Well, sheesh, they’re richer than King Midas.” Then I asked, is there a strain of giving and a joy in giving that is unique to the poor, the homeless, the destitute that overlooks those who have much? Is there a confusion between giving of self and giving of dollars? Are we too-much valuing ‘goods’? Is there a connectedness missing in those who are not monetarily poverty-stricken? I have neither an answer nor a recommendation.

In reading Fr. Richard Rohr’s book What the Mystics Know, I’m getting a clue though!! Fr. Rohr stumbled on a homeless person’s graffiti that touched him profoundly. It said, “I watch how foolishly man guards his nothing, thereby keeping us out. Truly, God is hated here.” Fr. Rohr’s analysis opened my heart to another possibility. You see, Rohr admits that this street person “…so clearly recognize[s] the false nature of our self-image, [while having a] clear sense” of what it means to be included and excluded.

Is that it? Are we busily trying to be separate? Are we guarding our Nothing?