The past couple of weeks have been ‘difficult.’ Events, in and of themselves, were only slightly off-center but put them together, well, they were harbingers of doom! In my increasingly overcast world, I had trouble discerning whether the Oracle of Delphi had spoken or I needed to adjust my meds. As the month came to an end and one situation after another littered my path, I was definitely feeling devalued, unimportant, invisible, ignored, and unrewarded.

Wow! Should I weep, have a tantrum, or sit in my shell of hurt? Unable to decide, I waited just long enough to see a light (rather like my night light which features a ‘when pigs fly’ motif) flickering. It was not very bright but it was strong enough for me to sense a bit of dark humor at play. Uh-huh, I had a lot of negative thoughts bubbling and burbling. Ironically, there was one core belief that didn’t join … Love. Can you believe? I never once in that month felt unloved by Spirit or by myself. Even more intriguing was the awareness that there were great demands made on me for giving love. Here I was, sitting in sorrow for my life, continuing to offer up, to give. My, oh my!

All came together a couple of nights ago when I attended a class for which I was one of the assistants. In the middle of class, with no need for my services, I arose to take a walk. I gave way to a conscious, meditative stroll and relaxed into stillness. As I reached mid-block, I passed a fellow sitting on the curb, supported by an elbow in the grass and sipping from his pint of whiskey. Dear me, I saw the stunning sunset, felt the soft breezes and absorbed a fellow human consoled only by his flask of liquor.

Sinking into an even deeper contemplative space, I connected with him, for, as surely as he was creating cirrhosis of the liver, I appeared bent on creating cirrhosis of the soul. Really? Did I want that? Really? Was this well of hurt worth it? Am I actually separate? Is a sunset and a soft breeze for naught? No, no way! Okay, Doris, let us just give this up, jettison this stuff. Anyway, I said, you do know love.

Hmmmm! Think I will just chalk it all up to a bad case of indigestion.